Matt's Cool and Interesting Blog of The New Millennium 

Sorry all

Although there was an overwhelming response to keep my hair long it is now unnaturally short. This was not my choice, but instead the doing of an inept Supercuts employee. This results in me looking like a young Hannibal Lector. It's a shame, really.

Halloween Ghost Story

// The following was written by Nate Hogan and I. After deciding upon a character and setting, Nate wrote the ending and I wrote the beginning. I then attempted to reconcile the two. Sorry it's a bit late for Halloween, but we only started it about at 2:00 AM, November 1st. Enjoy!


Cody's Halloween Adventure

Cody waited for the bus with his best friend, Brian. The sharp wind howled by the faded brick school.
"Can you believe that math test," Cody asked in a troubled voice.
???Maybe if you would have studied,??? replied Brian, showing no sympathy.
???Well, at least the week is finally over.???
???Definitely.???
The approaching bus grumbled forward to a halt.
???See you next week.???
???Wait,??? said Brian, ???are you going Trick-or-Treating tonight????
Cody, realizing that Brian wasn???t invited to Christine???s costume party which he was planning on attending, replied ???No, I???m going to start studying now. I need to relearn the material that was on today???s test.???
Brian waved goodbye as Cody got on. As the bus pulled away, Cody stared out the window. ???What???s with this weather???? Cody thought, ???It almost seems like a hurricane is coming.??? Cody???s father followed the Weather Channel unremittingly. He heard nothing about this strange change from the pleasant autumn warmth that had bathed Lancetown the past month.
Leaves were blowing off the trees like rain in a downpour. The wind shrieked by the bus, a sound resembling a human scream. The words began to take shape.
???Coooody, Cody,??? it moaned, strengthening, shouting out to him ???Cody hun, it???s your stop.??? The bus driver was staring, beckoning him to exit the bus. He grabbed his book-bag and got off.

It was 8:00 PM. Time to get the bus to go to Christine???s party. Cody just finished his costume, a Jedi robe complete with functioning (light up) lightsaber. He looked once more at the invitation.

Costume Party
9:00 October, 31
Christine???s House
18 Haverford Rd.

???Haverford???, thought Cody, ???that???s over by the old mine, isn???t it? I can probably get there on my bike.???
The wind ripped past Cody as he drove through the town until he reached Haverford. Suddenly, he lost control of the bicycle. Inspecting the tire, Cody saw a piece of glass had completely shredded the tire.
???I guess I???ll leave my bike here and my parents can pick it up tomorrow,??? Cody thought as he hid it under some underbrush along the dark densely forested road. He began trudging up the road. The wind began gaining intensity. Shifting, blowing from all sides.
???Coooooody, Cooooody.??? It wailed. Where was it coming from? Behind him? In front? What was it? Cody began hearing the stomping of approaching footsteps.
???Cooody??? it growled. The footsteps continued growing closer, louder. Cody started to run. Not sure if it was behind or in front of him, he ran into the woods. Thorns ripped into his costume. Branches snagged his feet. The footsteps never ceased. The woods soon thinned, and Cody found himself in a clearing. The entire woods behind him shook as though some creature was thrashing through it. Cody kept running till he was at the entrance of the abandoned mine. Footsteps following, wind screaming, he entered the mine.
Cody was wheezing from the chase, he continued descending deeper into the abandoned Lancetown coal shaft. He had been running at a breakneck pace far too long and could maintain it no further. He slowly drew to a halt, and noticed a nook in the shaft to his left. His Jedi costume was tattered and now covered in soot, but his lightsaber continued to throw light down the dim mine shaft. As he paused he listened for the rattled, heavy breathing further up the shaft. There was nothing. Breathing a momentary sigh of relief, he sat on the boulder beside the nook. Just as he was catching his breath however, his lightsaber began to fade, sputtering light ever dimmer on the walls, until the mine was pitch black.
???Can never mess around with batteries, can you???? he thought as he realized his mom had bought the cheap supermarket brand and not his usual Duracell. Suddenly his ears picked up something horrifying...the sound of approaching footsteps, slow and heavy: Thud......Thud......Thud..... He could feel them start to shake the ground as they grew closer and closer, resounding echoes growing louder and louder. In panic he ducked into the nook and crouched behind the boulder. Creeping into his nostrils was the scent of killing and death, of blood and dirt, it was close. He cautiously raised his head, and noticed a most horrific sight: A pair of blood red eyes were glowing with fury, lingering in the distance up the mine shaft, seemingly hovering, and steadily descending. Cody???s heart was beating frantically, he balled himself up behind the boulder and listened to the approach of the beast. It was so close now; he could smell its gross viciousness emanating from a mere few feet; he could hear its snarly, guttural breathing, the drip of saliva onto the floor. It stomped down the corridor and suddenly Cody heard a crunch. The crunch of plastic. His lightsaber! He had left it on the floor in front of the boulder after its batteries had died. The beast stopped in its path and let out a low savage growl. It sniffed the air in quick stints. Cody quivered, and then: SMASH! The beast shoved the boulder he was hiding behind out of the way. Cody had no choice but to run, so despite the darkness he tried to run through the beast???s legs, but instead ran straight into one of the columns of sinew and demonic muscle. He cowered backwards and his hand fell onto the shards of his lightsaber. He clutched the former handle as the beast swiped the air in front of him and grabbed Cody up in one massive hand. He held Cody right in front of his face, breathing hot, steamy, rotten breath into his face. Cody wriggled his arm free and drove the shattered handle into one of the beast???s gleaming red eyes. It roared and reeled backwards, releasing Cody. As it went backwards it fell over the boulder it had tossed aside and went crashing into a support beam of the mine. With a resounding ???crack!??? the beam splintered, impaling the beast???s right shoulder with the massive wooden shards. The walls began to rumble under the new stress and release of tension. The beast howled in agony and extreme rage. Cody took his opportunity of freedom, and began running with his hand against the wall back up the shaft amidst falling debris. Just as he bolted out of the mine opening, the entire structure collapsed in a huge avalanche of coal. The sounds of a dying beast emanated from the former mine shaft. Cody, completely exhausted, collapsed under the nearest tree.
Early the next morning the town was abuzz with the events of last night. Everyone thought the mine shaft had collapsed because of beams weakened with age. The cops found Cody and returned him to his mother, who was worried sick and ever so glad to have her baby back. When trying to explain his condition, he said he was just trying to find their neighbor???s lost dog, and got a bit lost. No one in the town knew what a hero they had in their midst, except Cody Quint himself.

//Have a happy post-Halloween

"The Road Not Taken"

I think that if you asked low to moderate level highschool english students what their favorite poem is a vast majority would choose Frost's, "The Road Not Taken". I don't think this is an indication of its worth, or a validation of the beauty of it's simplicity, or any critical measurement of the poem itself. It's just a matter of exposure. You see this poem everywhere. It's quoted constantly. It's on inspirational posters in all places. Students get this poem so drilled in their heads that they automatically select it as their favorite. I did when I was in eleventh grade, so did about two-thirds of my English class. I don't know where to go with this anymore so I'm just going to stop.

I think my processor fan is dying.

Again. I brought it back to life last time by smacking it with a screw driver. Maybe I'll do that again.

Sunflower Seeds

I remember eating sunflower seeds during baseball games back in the good old days. I don't remember if I spit out the shells or not, or just ate them. I think I spit them out. Anyway, I'm fairly hungry and I have a bag of sunflower seeds that seems to indicate that I should be spitting out the shells. (ie "eat, spit, be happy") I'm not spitting out sunflower seeds in my room, that would be a mess. I could put a trash can next to me, but really it would be too much work and rather annoying. More annoying than just eating the shell. So hopefully eating the shell won't totally destroy my digestive system. I guess we'll find out.

Matt and the Case of the Missing Shower Curtains

Waking up this tender morning, I had one thought on my mind. Shower. I had a need for the delicious cleanliness that could only be obtained through a shower. Walking into the bathroom I noticed an oddity. Rectangular pieces of canvas were lying on the floor. Being the morning I thought nothing was amiss. I walked to the showers. Then I noticed that the shower curtains were not there. Using my Holmes like intuition, I surmised that someone had taken the shower curtain and placed it on the floor like a pile of colorful leaves that were not so colorful and bigger and flatter. But who would be the perpetrator of such a crime? Who would participate in an act so heinous, or a practical joke so unfunny. FACT. I went to sleep at 1:00 and woke up at 8:00 the crime took place during the interlude. FACT. Raucous (drunken) behavior was going on in our hall last night, but it seemed to quiet down by 2:00ish. FACT. There's no way I'm showering in a communal shower. FACT. Thankfully, we were able to put the curtains up in about five minutes. Can Matt solve this most vexing case?

Haikus

Haikus, the Japanese poem form consisting of (usually, in english) a 5 syllable, 7 syllable, and 5 syllable line, are among the silliest form of poetry in the English language. They almost beat Limericks in silliness. Here are a few of mine:

Combos

Salty and crunchy
Outside, but on the inside
They are full of cheese

Bass drum

It's really heavy
And it makes a noisy crash
If it slips off you

Post it notes

I write down a phrase
stick it to your back lightly--
"Kick me please, kind sir"

Cell phones

Talking to a friend
I remember all the fun--
Aaagh! I crashed my car.

Code Red

I take a deep swig
of this tasty ambrosia
Now I can't concentrate or write haikus anymore I think instead I'm going to do some jumping jacks or run around or sing that song you know the one with the melody that goes da da dum dee dee dum da..

(all haikus written by Matthew Fister, October 21, 2003)

Ataris to play at CMU tonight.

The Volkswagon Music Tour has brought The Ataris to play at Carnegie Mellon University tonight. Of course due to my complete lack of taste in music I won't be attending, however, because of my infinite ability to stay hip to the jive, I have posted here my favorite song by the ataris:
Click here to play my favorite song by the Ataris!

Oh, um, maybe that wasn't The Ataris, but instead the Atari. Oh well I'd rather play Pitfall anyway.

Funniest site I've seen in a while!

Check out The Book of Ratings for one of the best review sites right up there with me. I especially like the review of danger signs, D&D monsters, and Street Fighter characters. Brilliant!

Movie Review: Braveheart

Alright, here's an upfront confession: This isn't really a movie review. Everyone knows Braveheart is great. The characters are all so human, they have real personalities. My favorite part of the movie is before the first battle: Wallace's speech to his troops. I was ready to fight and die for Scotland. To prove it here's a picture:



I will free Scotland with the might of my blue Interpretation and Argument binder!

Remember: You can take our lives but you can never take our Fritos!