Why Caesar salads ought to have Caesar dressing?--a brief history 

Why Caesar salads ought to have Caesar dressing?--a brief history

The restaurant, The Underground, here at CMU has one distinct problem. Their Chicken Caesar salad has Italian dressing. As any of the people who know me surely know, I am a Caesar salad aficionado. Caesar salad dressing belongs on Caesar salad, simply because of the name. Few know, however, why this came to be. Gather around while I tell the story of Julius Caesar and the Caesar Salad.

Julius Caesar came to power in 59 BC, ruling Rome with the invincible command of a dictator. During the feast of Lupercal in which Marc Antony offered Caesar a crown, a salad was served with a creamy dressing. Caesar decided that instead of accepting the crown, he would instead proclaim the delicious salad "Caesar Salad". Unfortunately, Brutus, known for his bad taste, did not enjoy the dressing, and actually preferred the common "Italian dressing". Brutus declared to the conspirators that ultimately assassinated Caesar,
"...and this man
Is now become a god; and Cassius is
wretched creature, and must bend his body,
If Caesar carelessly but nod on him
and do away with the people's dressing of Italy,
and prefer cream Caesar salad so verily",
as recalled by William Shakespeare in his history, Julius Caesar. And so the conspirators, all preferring Italian dressing killed Julius Caesar. However, as Augustus Caesar came to power in 43 BC, Caesar salad was reinstated as the Salad of Choice (SoC) for the Roman people. Caesar salad remained the SoC for the Romans, until 387 BC, when the Senons, a Gallic tribe, crossed the Appennines and approached the town. The Romans tried to stop them vainly; but, frightened by the their horned helmets, angry, "mean" faces, and savage beards, they were easily defeated. The Gauls entered the city and destroyed it. The Senons adopted the Caesar salad as their SoC, and soon it spread through the Germanic culture, eventually to Britain, then to the United States. It is replicated everywhere in the U.S. except CMUs Underground Restaurant, which seems to have revived the Conspirator's Salad created by Brutus.

Don't support the conspiracy, have your Caesar salad with Caesar dressing. Make true Caesar salad your SoC!