Roderigo's Plan, An Othello Parody
//The following is an Othello parody I wrote for English my senior year. I finally found all 3 acts and epilogue of it, so here it is in completed form. If you haven't read Othello I strongly suggest it, but the basic gist of it is that Iago is the rival of Othello, the Moor of Venice, and is jealous of Othello's quick rise in influence and power. Using the full faculties of his genius, and confiding his inane sidekick Roderigo, he plots to bring down Othello. Roderigo's Plan outlines the original attempt of the dastardly duo to take down the Moor using the plan of the idiotic Roderigo. As an English class we were to write in characters from other stories, and as a strong believer in the strength of a fool, I made Roderigo the main character. So here it is: Roderigo's Plan.
Roderigo's Plan
Act 1 - Venice. A street. Roderigo and Iago.
Roderigo: Hey there signior Iago. What are ya thinkin' about?
Iago: Silence Fool! I'm trying to devise a plan to bring down my enemy the Moor. Othello by name who gave the position to a great arithmetician, on Michael Cassio, a Florentine, that never set a squandron in the...
Roderigo: Well, why don't you just...
Iago: Shut up! I need a plan so complex that it will defame
Cassio, destroy Othello, and even ruin his fair wife Desdem...
Roderigo: But you could just...
Iago: Quiet idiot! As I was saying, it must ruin his fair wife Desdemon...
Roderigo: Iago, Iago, Iago!
Iago: What! Just tell me what it is you want to say.
Roderigo: Why don't I just call some of my friends and they could kill the Moor.
Iago: Actually 'tis not such a bad idea. A simple plan from my friend Roderigo may be the perfect way to crush Othello's ego! Mwahahahahahah.
Roderigo: Tee-hee-hee
Iago: Roderigo's friends will deliver a hit that will knock Othello into the deepest pit. Mwahahahahaha.
Roderigo: Tee-hee-hee
Roderigo: Wait! I've got one! My plan will easily kill this guy, 'twill be just like swatting a...a....um.....
Iago: FLY! (Shoves Roderigo and storms off the stage)
Act 2 - Venice. Iago's headquarters. Iago, Roderigo, Ethan Frome, Ophelia.
The Plot Thickens
Iago: Welcome to my humble heaquarters my guests. As you know, you were summoned to put Othello to the test. You objective is simple - make the Moor pay. Now Roderigo, introduce our guests if you may.
Roderigo: (Introducing Ethan Frome) This fellow here is Ethan Frome. A place called Starkfield be his home. A more disturbed fellow I neverhad met. He tried to kill himself and Mattie in a sledding accident.
Ethan: Leave Othello to me. I'll in the steamboat I built with my engineering training to sail to Cyprus. Othello will not be able to fetch from my attack!
Roderigo: (introducing Ophelia) Our next guest be a Danish dame. Who calls herself Ophelia by name.
Ophelia: (In a sing-song voice) They bore him barfaced on the bier. Hey non nonny, nonny, hey nonny. And in his grave raised many a tear.
Roderigo: (apologetically) I am sure she will get it together and destroy Othello.
Iago: Is this all you have brought back, an American and a maniac!
Roderigo: No, no, two others could not come today. A giant named Gulliver from far far away. And a notorious killer who must travel through time. Although untested, his time machine should prove prime. He definitely will arrive in Italy. But in what century may prove a mystery.
Iago: This man, who is he, and what has he done. Hurry up fool, I need Othello gone.
Roderigo: Well this man's Dick Prosser he killed most of a town. With these allies on our side, Othello will be brought... he will be brought... brought... ummm...
All but Roderigo: DOWN!!! (All laugh in evil voices, Roderigo looks ashamed but joins in with his tee-hee laugh)
Act 3. Scene 1. A street. Venice. Ophelia.
Does Ophelia Get it Together?
Ophelia: (Running in circles, acting crazy) You must sing "A-down a-down" and you call him a down a. How the wheel becomes it. It is the false steward that stole his master's daughter! Hey Flowers! (Runs to barrel filled with water and dunks head in) Drowning noises.
Act 3. Scene 2. A small farm. Floria. Ethan Frome, Janie.
Ethan Gets Lost Over His Horizons
(Ethan is lost, Janie stis far away beneath a pear tree)
Ethan: (To himself) It seems that my skill in engineering is not equal to my skill in navigation. Maybe I was just talking big. This can't be Cyprus, it was too far away...
(Catches sight of Janie)
Hey, what's that over there?
Janie: Who's dat man dat came over de horizon over der'? I feel like a thousand sister calyxes just opened up inside me!
Ethan: I feel the same warm feeling I used to feel around Mattie.
CUE: Love music.
(The two run together and fall into an embrace)
Act 3. Scene 3. Rome. The Forum. Characters: Julius Caesar, Dick Prosser outside.
What century did Dick Prosser end up in?
Julius Caesar: (Reads a longer speech from Julius Caesar) Start fading out about half way through it. Or if preferred read something in Latin, maybe the Aeneid?
Dick: Starts reading The Tyger by William Blake. Start quietly, but crescendo to end of poem. Make gun noises.
Julius: Et tu, somebody. (Caesar slowly falls over, in a very dramatic death)
Julius: (Qundam miseratum est morandi sum passum coepet) (Someone holds a sign up reading: Translation: I have been shot with an assault rifle and require medical attention.
Act 3. Scene 4. Venice. A pub. Iago, Roderigo, Cassio, Gulliver (action figure)
On The Evils of Peer Pressure
(Cassio and Roderigo sit at a table playing the game Othello, Iago enters)
Roderigo: Hey there, Iago, I bet you'd like this game we're playin'
Cassio: Yeah, it's pretty good, there's a lot of strategy in it.
Iago: What is ist called this game? From what does it get its name?
Roderigo: Oth...(realizing his mistake) Ummm maybe it would be best if you didn't know.
Iago: WHAT IS IT?
Roderigo: (meekly) othello.
Iago: (Visibly enraged) AAAGH! (Knocks game to ground and points to Roderigo). Come here! (Roderigo comes timidly toward him, to Roderigo, Cassio hears nothing) Look. You're plan seems to have failed. But upon a new idea I have sailed. Now I'm going to make Othello feel that Desdemona broke her marriage deal, and had an affair with Cassio.
Roderigo: Just wait. I have not heard a word from the giant, Gulliver. He might be able to pull it off.
Iago: Get lost! I'm leaving to initiate my plan anyway. Leave me at once fool - DO NOT DELAY. (ROderigo leaves, downtrodden. Iago sits with Cassio)
Cassio: Welcome Iago. We must to the watch.
Iago: Not yet Cassio, tis' not ten o'clock. Congratulations on your promotion-it gave me a shock.
Cassio: Why thank you good friend.
Iago: Why not have a toast and a drink: To Michael Cassio - let the cannikin clink!
Cassio: Not tonight, good Iago. I have very poor and unhappy brains for drinking. I could well wish courtesy would invent some other custom of entertainment.
Iago: ASIDE- To peer pressure I must get him to yield. To make a slander to shatter Othello's shield. TO CASSIO- Come on friend, one drink won't hurt.
Cassio: No, I really shouldn't.
Iago: Look everybody's doing it. You don't wnat to feel left out do you?
Cassio: Ok, Ok, one drink. (Drinks - becomes drunk)
Iago: Desdemona's a fine lady isn't she.
Cassio: (Slurred and drunk) Indeed she's a most fresh and delicate creature.
Iago: And when she speaks, is it not an alarum to love?
Cassio: She ish indeed perfection.
Iago: You should pay complements to Othello for his lovely wife when you see him next.
Cassio: I shertainly will.
Iago: Come now Cassio. Let me walk thee to your room.
(Cassio and Iago walk out. Cassio stumbles on Gulliver)
Cassio: I think I shtepped on a rat or shomething.
(Cassio exits I ago)
(Roderigo runs in , sees Gulliver, picks him up)
Roderigo: I think this is our Gulliver, Iago.
Iago: Did you not say this man was a giant. This is not bigger than the size of an ant. This man is merely Lilliputian. His size is only minutian.
Roderigo: Sorry sir. I think I made a mistake.
Iago: Roderigo you are an idiotic dolt. See you later, I have to bolt.
(Iago exits)
Roderigo: My plan failed- what did I expect. I guess my lack of intelligence I did forget. I wish I were a brighter fellow. Here ends my plan to eliminate Othello.
(All enter) Narrator reads Epilogue.
Epilogue
Narrator: And so the First Part of Othello is concluded.
Ethan and Janie were married for 10 years. After the initial passion of marriage wore off the two were forced to move to New England for Ethan???s employment, and the two experienced a drudgery more bleak than Ethan???s life in Starkfield. Janie left Ethan and ran off with a man named Josef Starker, and then left him to run off with a mysterious youth known only by the moniker Coffee Brownie.
Dick Prosser was arrested by the Empirial Guard but then later freed by the conspirators led by Brutus. Working his way up the Roman Army, he eventually became the Centurion of a Legion under Augustus.
Gulliver, having died before he was born, never was able to publish the record of his travels. As a result Jonathan Swift never became famous, and high school students of all Western Nations rejoice annually.
Cassio, after losing his reputation as a result of Iago???s scheme, became an influential spokesperson against the problem of peer pressure and alcoholism, and gave several speeches to local organizations and schools.
Iago went on with his more complicated plan to ruin Othello. When it did not work perfectly, he blamed Roderigo for his mistakes.
Although history records that Roderigo was killed by Cassio, he was actually swept through a time eddy from the time machine used by Dick Prosser. He ended up in Medieval England where he received an education. He published his story which was stolen and rewritten by William Shakespeare.
-The End-
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