Carnivorous Plants Opinion Paper 

Carnivorous Plants Opinion Paper

//The following is an essay I wrote for my brother on carnivorous plants. He told that for his paper he needed an opinion section. I'm not quite sure what opinions one can have on carnivorous plants, but I wrote this opinion paper anyway. It's not intended to be serious or accurate. As a result, if your sense of humor has withered into darkness and rot, stop reading *now*.

Carnivorous Plants Opinion Paper


Carnivorous plants represent one of the most ardent challenges in opinion to American society. On the one hand, they are cooler than hippies and Black Doom Dragons combined. On the other hand, they eat flies, which my friends the flies say is bad, but often many flies are often bad. Eating bad flies is good to me, LOL. In this paper I will often try to discuss my opinion on Carnivorous Plants.

Carnivorous Plants the Coolness!

Carnivorous plants are, truthfully, rock-solid. I mean honestly, what can they do wrong? They sit there and then they eat flies that happen to be digested by the sweet nectar they secrete (or so I am told). They may or may not be able to photosynthesize, no one really knows (scientists might actually know...). This gives them a shroud of mystery, making them into an enigma, and enhancing their coolness. What else is cool about them? Well, huge species appear in the jungle, and after George of the Jungle, a character in a popular cartoon-television broadcast, hits a tree, he falls in and is eaten, much to the humorous enjoyment of one whom is watching the show. Although it may look like carnivorous plants only rock solid, there is also a bad side to them.

Carnivorous Plants: Totally Uncool...

As for each day there is a night, for every cool thing about carnivorous plants is paralleled by an "uncool" feature. EXAMPLE 1: Good flies are often eaten by such plants. The plants don't distinguish in their murder of flies. Good flies, bad flies... all flies die in the merciless hand of the carnivorous plant. Carnivorous plants are kind of like Al Capone. EXAMPLE 2: Much to the chagrin of George of the Jungle creator Marc Rudolfo, giant carnivorous plants do not exist, nor do they grow on Venus. On this issue, Marc Rudolfo says "I would get two or three letters per month about the inaccuracy of my show, as a result I cancelled it, I really did." (dramatization) EXAMPLE 3: The sweet nectar of the Venus Fly Trap is not really sweet. Believe me, I tasted it. And having a Venus Fly Trap stuck to your tongue for several days is bad for your social life. And ouchers! It does hurt a doosie.

Conclusion

In conclusion, carnivorous plants are sorta cool, and sorta fool if you get my drift. Hippis are always really cool though. Rock on man!